Dear my Future Successful Self,
Did you forget about me? Don't forget that I was the one who got you to where you are.
I'm fairly normal as far as high school seniors go. I'm taller than some people but shorter than most everyone else, I don't get an A+ in all my classes but I refuse to get a C, I try to fit in by being like my friends, I have a part-time job that I say I'm going to quit after every shift, and I don't like homework even though I do it anyways.
I thought about you a lot in high school these past four years. Both times I moved, when I didn't feel accepted, when I couldn't get a date to prom. I thought about how you wouldn't even be phased by these things so why should I, so I brushed them off. But most of the times I thought about you actually got me very excited and happy. The first time I wrote a short story in freshman English, when I got my license, when I committed to my college. All these milestones got me closer to you.
I think the reason I looked to you during those times was because you were so many things. You were a scientist, a pharmacist, an author, an elementary school teacher, a high school teacher, a special education teacher, a reporter, a journalist; all while all I was was a high school student. I was stuck reading books about history I didn't care about, learning equations for math I was never going to use and you were doing exactly what you wanted to do. You were so passionate and focused that you were able to do anything you set your mind to. When you wanted to discover a drug to cure your heart disease you did that, when you wanted to change the lives of young children you did that, when you wanted to be an editor of a popular newspaper you did that.
But, even though you inspired me to do my best, I sometimes felt like I couldn't live up to you. I felt shadowed by your achievements and what would happen if I couldn't be as good as you? Not to mention that regardless of your successful life I want to be better than you. But not even being able to measure up as an equal? Would I be a failure in my eyes? In your eyes?
This fear, and it really was, is what pushed me to be the best that I could be in high school. Always aspiring to be more than the average high school student. This happened, I think, without my noticing for a while. Freshman year I was just a meek band kid who couldn't speak to people without getting nervous. Now?
Now I'm a highly-opinionated, motivated, won't-let-anything-get-in-the-way avid reader with over 60 books on my shelf, writer of anything from novels to breaking news stories, singing dancer of mostly the Just Dance video game, actor, improv-genius, caring motherly figure to my friends and family who isn't afraid to speak in front of people about global issues and my favorite TV show at the time with an obsession for Disney, girl whose proud of who she has become with a future like yours ahead of me.
This girl that am I and you were is the one who set up your future for you. I got you into college and chose your career path that you have hopefully stuck with. But it's okay if you didn't. It can just be another thing to add to the list of things that you were in my 17-year-old head.
In two weeks, when I walk across the stage and get my diploma, I will no longer be a high schooler. I'll be an almost-college student and then soon after that a college student. There is no going back but, I promise that I will leave you with great memories, potential, and hopefully someone as inspiring to you as you have been to me.
Sincerely Yours,
Your High School Self
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